


On This Day, I Complete My Twenty-Fifth Year

by Titti



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Challenge Response, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-06-30
Updated: 2003-06-30
Packaged: 2019-01-16 05:20:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12336264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Titti/pseuds/Titti
Summary: Harry recounts how he became part of Sirius and Severus's family.





	On This Day, I Complete My Twenty-Fifth Year

**Author's Note:**

> Part of the Infinite Cantatum: the AU Harry/Severus Fuh-Q-Fest. Promp : 176. What if Severus was married, and his spouse (canon character or OC) taught DADA? (Nimori)  
> Note 2: It goes AU right after the end of CoS. The Shrieking Shack incident never happened in this universe.

My name is Harry Potter. Most people think they know me because they have read my name in the history books. The truth is that they know the achievements of the Boy Who Lived, but very few people know the real me. 

If I had to pick the one day that changed my life, I would not pick that night on Hallow's Eve, when Voldemort killed my parents. No, I would pick the evening that Albus Dumbledore showed up unexpectedly at the Dursleys.

It was the summer after my second year at Hogwarts. School had let out only a week before and I was already counting the days until I would return to Hogwarts. Not even in my wildest dreams, I would have pictured Dumbledore, in fuchsia and silver robe, standing in the middle of my aunt's living room.

Dumbledore informed my aunt and uncle with his usual cheerfulness that I was leaving and I would not be returning. I'm not sure which one of us was happier at the moment. I didn't stay to find out. Instead, I packed as quickly as I could and with a portkey the headmaster had provided, we disappeared from my relatives' house.

"Headmaster, Potter." I recognised immediately the voice of my Potions professor, and I was starting to have my doubts about my relocation.

The headmaster must have read my thoughts because he smiled at me and practically shoved me into the sitting room. My curiosity took over and I began to look at the place where we were.

The stonewalls and floors reminded me of Hogwarts, but they felt newer, somehow. The ceiling was higher than the average Muggle ceiling, but it was nowhere as high as the ceiling in the Great Hall. The furniture was antique, or at least that's what I assumed. 

"This is my house, Potter," Snape said, knowing very well that I was studying his home. "Now, sit."

I dismissed his brusque tone. After two years in his classes, I was used to have him yell and reproach me. I sat on an armchair, but when I got there I realised that someone was sitting on the couch. I hadn't seen the man before since the couch faced the fireplace and not the door.

"Hello, Harry," said the man. I nodded and eyed him carefully. After Quirrell and the Riddle diary, I didn't trust people.

"Why am I here, Headmaster?" I decided to direct my question to the person I trusted the most in this room, or that I distrusted the least.

"There are a few things that you don't know, my dear boy. Your parents had a Secret Keeper. He is the one that betrayed them and told Voldemort where they were hiding." I wasn't sure what a Secret Keeper was, but I understood the betrayal part all too well.

"We thought that the Secret Keeper was Sirius Black. He was sent to Azkaban without a trial after he allegedly killed another wizard, Peter Pettigrew, and Muggles who were standing nearby. Just a few days ago, Aurors captured Pettigrew. It was discovered that your parents had changed the Secret Keeper at the last moment without telling anyone. Peter has been taken to Azkaban and Sirius has been released." 

I listened to the information like one listens to the news. It was a story unrelated to me. "It still doesn't answer my question," I finally said.

"Sirius is your godfather. He has asked for you to live with him since he thinks that your aunt doesn't like wizards."

I snorted at the diplomatically phrased sentiment. "If he means that she'd rather see all of us die, then he is correct."

The man shifted on the couch and Snape put a hand on his shoulder. I looked at them questioningly.

Snape glared back until I dropped my gaze. I could feel his smirk at my surrender, but I simply didn't have the energy to fight him.

"Harry?" I looked up at the man sitting next to Snape. "I'm Sirius. I was your father's best friend and I am your godfather. I was truly hoping that you would want to live here, with us."

I stared at him in shock. Too much information in such a short time. My mind seemed to focus on few simple words: live here, with us. "But...this is Snape's house?"

Sirius frowned. "Yes, I...we are married." Learning that two men could be married wasn't as surprising as discovering that someone would ever want to marry Snape. The surprise must have shown in my face. "He doesn't know?" Sirius looked questioningly at Snape.

"I...No one knows except for Albus," Snape said softly. I still remember how tenderly Severus tucked a lock of hair behind Sirius's ear. "There are reasons. I'll tell you later."

Sirius got up abruptly. He stood with his arms wrapped around his body. He was fidgeting. Finally, he turned toward the stairway that was on the far side of the sitting room. "I need...I'm going to bed. Harry, I'll see you later. Headmaster."

We watched Sirius leave the room in silence.

The headmaster put a hand on Snape's shoulder. "Give him time, Severus. He has been out for two days after spending twelve years in that place." 

"Don't you think I know that? I know very well what Azkaban can do to a person," Snape yelled. "I'm surprised he is still rational," he added in a calmer tone.

"I know, Severus, but I'm confident that with your help, he will be all right." Dumbledore turned his eyes on me. "I'm sure you'll be happy here. Now, I have to go."

Snape and I waited until the headmaster apparated away. As soon as he left, Snape pushed me against a wall. "I don't like you, Potter. Your family is the reason I lost him, but I know how much Sirius loved your father. Now, he wants to help you. This is the only reason I'm allowing you to stay here. Hurt him and after I'm done with you, you'll think that Voldemort is a saint." He released me just as quickly as he had attacked. "Now, follow me. I'll show you your room."

Still shocked, I went after Snape until he left me in the biggest bedroom I had ever seen. Hedwig was already in our new room, waiting for me. It didn't take me long to get settled since everything I owned was in my trunk. 

The excitement of the day was still cursing through my body and there was no way that I could go to sleep. I decided to wander around. Knowing full well that Snape would flay me alive if he had caught me, I kept my cloak safely closed around my body.

I roamed the empty hallways until I was drawn by the sound of voices. I moved closer and saw Snape and Sirius in what I assumed was their bedroom.

"I can't believe you didn't tell him. My own godson," Sirius was saying.

"There were reasons to keep it a secret," Snape answered calmly.

"For twelve years? I can understand why you didn't want anyone to know while Voldemort was alive. But afterwards?"

Snape sighed. He sat on a chair. "Come here, Sirius." He extended a hand and waited. It took a few silent minutes before Sirius gave in and sat on Snape's lap. Severus closed his arms around his husband.

"After Voldemort died, I was taken to Azkaban. I stayed there for three months awaiting trial." Both Sirius and I gasped at the information. I was lucky that they were too involved with each other to hear me.

"Albus suggested that I keep our union a secret," Snape continued.

"Because any association with me might have had a negative impact on your trial," Sirius finished for his lover.

Snape nodded. "I was convinced that you were innocent. I couldn't prove it, but I continued to hope. I also knew that Voldemort was still out there. I felt that revealing our marriage might have caused problems when it came time to spy again." Severus brushed Sirius's hair. "That's why no one can know. Not even now. He tried to come back to life twice in the past two years. It's only a matter of time before he succeeds."

I left without wanting to hear more. I had already heard too much. Bits and pieces swirled in my brain, but nothing seemed to make any sense. It took me a few days and a discussion with Sirius before all the pieces made sense in my head.

* * *

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you," Sirius told me. I was surprised that he could think about me when he had spent twelve years in a prison for something he didn't do.

I hadn't known what Azkaban was, but Snape had given me books on the subject and it was clear that it was amazing that Sirius had survived. The mood swings didn't seem so bad once I understood the treatment he had received.

"It's all right. I'm glad you're here, now." I was more than glad. I was thrilled to leave the Dursleys.

"When we go back to Hogwarts, you can't tell your friends about Severus and me." He looked at me strangely while telling me this.

"Don't worry. It's not like my friends like him, anyway." I covered my mouth. I knew, even then, how much he loved Snape. "Sorry."

"It's just...I know that Severus is very reserved, but there are reasons. Please, no one can know. Severus and I will pretend that we hate each other. We will fight and we will insult each other. Remember that it's an act. I love him and he loves me."

I frowned. "Does this mean you're going to be at Hogwarts?"

Sirius laughed. "It took you a while to hone on that fact. Severus would say that all Gryffindors are slow. And yes, Albus asked me to teach DADA."

"The acting will be because of Voldemort, will it not?" I remembered the conversation I overheard.

"Yes, Severus is convinced that His followers are trying to find a way to get Him back. I trust Severus on this. His instincts are always right." Love and pride shone in his voice and I did my best not to throw up while hearing it.

* * *

Contrary to their predictions, my third year was relatively quiet. No one cared about the Boy Who Lived when they could gossip over Sirius Black, ex-convict and loud mouth Gryffindor.

Not surprisingly, all the Gryffindors loved him while the Slytherins were ready to crucify him. An inter-house battle started with points being lost and gained in DADA and potions. The end result was that Ravenclaw took the House Cup that year.

Even more interesting were all the rumours about Sirius's alleged loved life. He was paired with every witch in school and Hogsmeade. I was the only one who knew that Sirius used the internal floo system to spend the nights with Snape. I think if I had revealed that information, I would have been sent to St. Mungo's for psychiatric help.

If my third year had been relaxing, then my summer was horrid. My hormones started to create havoc on my libido and living in a house with Sirius and Snape did nothing to quench my awakening sexual awareness.

It all started the moment we got home. After ten months of carefully avoiding any public touch, Sirius and Severus let go. I think they didn't notice I was in the room most of the times. 

Oh, they didn't do anything obvious as having mad passionate sex in front of me, which in a way it would have been a blessing. No, they touched each other, in careless meetings of their hands, their hips bumping while they cooked, a crotch pressed against an arse while reaching to grab a plate. Little reminders that they were completely comfortable with themselves and each other. I think that was the worse form of torture for a clumsy teenager.

I thanked God and all past wizards when school started and I could hide in my dormitory again. At least, none of my roommates would moan and scream 'Severus harder' when they thought that I wasn't around.

Unfortunately, my fourth year was full of danger. Someone evaded the charms on the Goblet and I was chosen as the fourth champion for the Triwizard Tournament. 

Severus was furious with me that year. I must have earned nightly detentions, even on days when I didn't have Potions. Sirius would never interfere, no matter how much I begged him to help me.

I hated them both until I understood the reason behind those detentions. I have to admit that it took me a while. I spent months cursing the moment I laid eyes on Snape, but finally, one night, it dawned on me.

I was serving my detention in Snape's private chambers. No one was brave enough to go near them, so no one would know. I had a big tome in front of me and I was to do a summary before the end of my detention. However, my interest was elsewhere. 

My eyes kept straying over to my godfather and his lover. Sirius was sitting on the floor, marking assignment. He was leaning against Severus's leg and the Potions master was running his fingers through Sirius's hair while reading a book.

For a moment, I wondered what it would be like to feel so close to another person. Curiosity was soon replaced by rage. I was stuck in there, while I could be spending my time with my friends, maybe looking for my someone special.

"Why am I reading this? Invisibility spells have nothing to do with Potions?" I screamed at Snape.

Surprisingly, he didn't hex me. Instead, he said calmly, "It took you long enough."

I stared at the two of them wide-eyed. 

Sirius was looking at Severus with a big smile on his face. "You _could_ have explained it to him."

"If he isn't smart enough to understand that we're training him, how is he going to survive?" Severus kept his eyes on me, but his hand never left Sirius's hair.

"It's just a bloody tournament," I snapped back.

Snape leaned forward, his eyes focused on me with an intensity that made me squirm. "You're an idiot. It's not just a tournament. If it were, you wouldn't be competing in it. There is something more to it; I can feel it." 

I snorted. "You've developed the third eye?"

He actually laughed at that. "No, boy, but I know that someone is going out of his way to make sure that you pass your tasks. You think that I didn't notice the help you got with the dragons. No, someone has an interest in keeping you in this tournament."

"Please, be careful, Harry. We'll try to keep an eye on things, but you can't take risks."

In the end, all my additional classes and our precautions didn't prevent Voldemort from coming back to life. Crouch stood at his Lord's side when the Avada Kedavra killed Cedric. 

When I returned, I was ushered to the Infirmary. Dumbledore kept everyone out, except for Sirius and Severus. I remember hearing Ron complain, saying that he and Hermione should be with me, instead of the greasy git.

Sirius kept me in his arms while Madam Pomphrey checked me. Severus stood by the bed, eyes never leaving me. I thought he was going to blame me. My blood had allowed Voldemort to come back, after all. Instead, he moved closer and grazed my cheek. "It's not your fault. You're just a child and it is our duty to protect you, not vice versa."

I broke down and cried for the first time since I could remember. Sirius held me until I calmed down. Then, they left Hogwarts, following Dumbledore's orders. Sirius was sent to find people who would support Dumbledore regardless of the Ministry's position.

Severus's task was harder. He resumed his role as a spy, just like he had predicted. I didn't know what that meant at the time. Sirius would make sure that I was never around when Severus returned from his summons. I learned months later.

No matter what was happening to them, they tried to keep my life as normal as it could be. We returned home for the summer. Those two months became a learning experience. For once, the subject was not related to my survival.

It started one July afternoon. I was supposed to stay at Remus Lupin's house. I had met him at the beginning of the summer. I thought it was cool that he was a werewolf. Although Severus growled every time he was near Remus. At the time, I couldn't understand. Later, Remus said that it's because they are both alpha men. It took me a while to understand that comment.

Anyway, during my stay, Remus was summoned by Dumbledore through the fireplace. Remus accompanied me home through the floo before apparating away. 

I walked to the sitting room where we usually spent the afternoon. When I reached there, the door was open. I stood there, mouth open at the sight in front of me. 

They had their backs to me. They were both naked. Sirius was resting his forehead on the chair's backrest. His right leg was bent and his knee was on the armrest. Severus was kneeling, his tongue tracing from balls to hole and back.

My brain was still trying to process what I was seeing when Sirius screamed. "Goddamn it, just fuck me."

Severus chuckled. "You have such a filthy mouth." 

Sirius shivered, probably because of the warm breath on his wet skin. "You're one to talk. You've got your tongue in my arse," he answered back.

In school, students whispered about sex, myths handed down from generation to generation, but this wasn't anything I'd ever pictured. However, when Severus pushed a finger inside Sirius while lapping at his hanging, heavy balls, I felt my cock react. I bit my lip to stay quiet. 

I knew I should have left, but I couldn't. This was...this was better than the porn channel on the satellite that Durdley used to put on when his parents weren't there. This was much better than those inhumanly large-breasted, skinny women licking each other. And when I saw Severus enter Sirius, it was all over. Spunk stained my trousers, and I ran to my room to get changed before I could get caught.

Thus began my voyeuristic summer. After that night, images of Cho were replaced by hard, muscular and definitely male bodies. In my mind, I had sex with every attractive wizard in school, but I would always come picturing Severus buggering Sirius.

Unfortunately, my fantasy was not enough to stop the nightmares. One night, I woke up, scar throbbing. I stayed in bed until the pain subsided. There was nothing I could do for the woman I saw die in my nightmare. However, I could not fall asleep. 

I got up and went to Sirius's bedroom. When I reached his bedroom, I heard noises. I'd learned what they meant. I sounded the same when masturbating. My curiosity took over. I opened the door and looked through the crack.

Sirius's hands were handcuffed and chained to the headboard. He was kneeling, legs spread apart and arse in the air. I gasped when I saw Severus hit him with something. I wasn't even sure what that thing was. Sirius's scream covered any noise I could make.

Severus threw the crop - or so I later learned - to the side. "I'm going to fuck you."

I was sure that Sirius would protest, scream bloody hell, try to kick Severus as best as he could, instead, he just murmured, "Jesus fucking Christ, it's about time."

Sirius proceeded to show off his extensive knowledge of curses, while Severus buggered him senseless. I was left with another pair of dirtied trousers. However, I did fall back asleep when I returned to my room.

As excited as my impromptu peep show had been, I was disturbed by what I had seen. Why would Severus chain his lover? Why would Sirius let him? 

I must have walked in a daze for a few days. Sirius and Severus didn't say anything, if they noticed. Remus, however, was a different matter. One afternoon, he came to stay with me while Severus and Sirius went to Hogwarts.

"Is something the matter?" he asked me after hours that he'd been staring at me.

"No," I answered quickly.

He raised an eyebrow. Scary, he looks like Severus when he does that. They still get upset when I point that out.

"I might have seen something I shouldn't have, and...why would someone want to be hurt?"

Remus blanched. "Who got hurt?"

"Sirius, but...I'm not sure." I sighed.

"Harry," he said softly, "tell me what you saw. We need to know if Sirius needs help."

"I couldn't sleep. I didn't mean to spy on them...it just happened a few times...but..."

"Harry, stop!" Remus frowned. "I have no idea what you're talking about. Maybe, you should be a little more clear."

I took a deep breath before saying, "I went to their bedroom and I saw Sirius chained and Severus was hitting him with a stick with a leather thing at the end and then they had sex." 

It took all my will power and powerful lungs to say everything in one breath. However, I didn't get the reaction I was expecting.

Remus was laughing at me. Not really laughing, but he was doing his best to stop laughing, failing miserably in the process.

"This is serious. Sirius could be hurt." I was probably pouting by then; I was certainly sulking. Remus was treating me like an idiot, or a child, but I guess I didn't think of myself as a child.

Remus finally uncovered his mouth. He was still grinning like a Cheshire cat. "I doubt that Sirius is being harmed."

"How can you say that? That thing must have hurt." I started to pace.

"Yes, I imagine that the crop must have stung. However, it sounds like Sirius enjoyed it as well." Remus stopped my pacing by holding my arms. "Some people enjoy different type of sexual activities." I could see that he was choosing his words carefully. "As long as they are consensual and safe, there is nothing wrong with them."

"But what if they are not? What if he needs help?"

"Who needs help?" Sirius asked as he walked in with Severus.

I felt as if my entire body was on fire. I so did not want to have this conversation with Severus present. I knew he would kill me once I acknowledged spying on them.

Remus looked at them and smiled. Through the years I've learned that Remus can be a real bastard, and I swear that he was enjoying the moment. "Kinky sex, Padfoot? I never would have guessed."

Sirius looked at us confused. I groaned. I was dead for sure. "I didn't mean to tell...I just..."

"Relax, Harry," Remus put a hand on my shoulder and addressed my guardians. "It seems that Harry has witnessed something unexpected and thought you needed rescuing. I was explaining that people enjoy different activities."

To my absolute horror, Severus growled, but instead of killing me, he kissed Sirius's neck and said, "He's your godson. You explain." And he simply walked away.

"Coward." Sirius told Severus, rather loudly.

Severus didn't rise to bait. Instead, he said, "Nonsense. Slytherins understand the importance of a strategic retreat and this is one of those times where retreat is the safer course of action."

"He's not going kill me," I said awed.

Sirius smiled amused. "No, he won't. Come on, Harry, let's sit down and talk." He looked at Remus. "You, behave, or I'll have Severus spank you."

Remus laughed. I prayed that Voldemort would appear and save me from this very embarrassing situation.

"Okay, first, I don't need help from Severus. Anything we do is consensual," Sirius started.

"You know," I interrupted. "I really don't need to know any more. As long as you're safe, that's fine." I tried to get up and leave. I started to think that Severus had done the right thing by leaving.

"Sit, Harry. Obviously, this is bothering you." I hated when Sirius got that parental tone. I really couldn't associate a father with the naked man screaming 'harder, fuck, Severus, harder'.

"Sirius, it's all right. I was only worried about your safety. I'm fine, really." I tried to loosen the grip he had on my arm.

"Leave the poor kid alone, Padfoot. Just get him a few porno tapes. Preferably with some women in it or he'll start think that only men have sex," Remus said.

"Or maybe you can just let him watch while you shag your girlfriend of the week," Sirius answered cheekily.

"You know what? I don't want tapes, I don't want live shows, and I don't want any more of these honest talks. I'll just rely on unquestionably wrong information passed on in school." I didn't wait for them to reply before leaving the room.

I ended up in the kitchen. I almost left when I saw Severus make a sandwich.

"Don't worry I don't bite," he said without looking at me.

"From what I've seen, I have my doubts," I said before I can stop myself.

His lips curled, but he just pushed the sandwich my way and began to prepare another one.

"They want to get me tapes." I didn't know why I kept talking. Probably because I did want information, but the jovial, we-are-best-of-friends tone that Sirius and Remus had used made me really uncomfortable.

"It won't happen," he sentenced. He sighed. "Harry, what you saw is very different than sex among young people. Sirius and I have a serious relationship that goes back to when we were young. You should think about first kisses, and convincing a girl to get past the snogging stage."

"What if I don't want a girl?" I barely raised my eyes from the kitchen counter.

"Don't confuse what Sirius and I want with what you want. At your age, everything excites you, and I'm sure that seeing us was very powerful. However, take your time to decide. There is nothing wrong with exploring."

I finally looked at him. He was staring at me, not smiling, not laughing, but simply looking at me. I nodded, understanding what he was trying to tell me. I still don't know where I found the courage to kiss him on the check. "Thanks."

As I left the room, I saw Sirius came in. I stayed in the doorway, wanting to know what they would say when I wasn't around.

"Thanks. You were much better than Remus and I." Sirius rested his head on Severus's shoulder, and immediately Severus wrapped his arm around Sirius's waist.

"He's not James. You can't treat him like he's your chap, sharing a pint at the pub. He needs guidance." Severus pulled Sirius closer.

"I know, but it's difficult. Sometimes, I feel like I'm the one who is still growing up, still twenty and ready to conquer the world." Sirius looked at Severus and smiled brightly. "I don't know what I would do without you. I love you."

"I love you, too." Severus kissed Sirius on the lips, just a mere peek. I left. This was a lot more personal than sex. 

After that day, I avoided their bedroom at all costs. I always made noises before walking into a room. It seemed wrong to spy on them after Severus had been so honest with me. 

When I returned to school, I took Severus advice to heart. I dated boys and girls. The only requirement was that they were not Slytherins. I had learned to like Severus, but I wasn't ready to risk my neck for some kisses, and some groping.

I was perfectly happy. No Voldemort to annoy me, boys and girls to date, friends that cared for me, Sirius and Severus who loved me. I thought nothing could go wrong. 

Until one night.

I woke up because of a nightmare. This time, it wasn't a nameless Muggle or Muggle-born that I saw tortured, but Severus. I ran down to the dungeon, barely remembering to use the cloak.

Sirius was already there, when I arrived. He barely looked at me as he helped Severus to the couch. "What are you doing here?"

"I...I had a nightmare. Is he all right?" My voice cracked. I was still shaken from my nightmare.

"I'm not dead, you know," Severus croaked out. 

That woke me up. I moved next to Severus. One on each side, we helped him get to his bedroom. I started taking his shoes off while Sirius took his jacket off.

"What do you think you're doing, Potter?" That was a sign that he was hurt. Anytime Severus was upset, angry, or in pain, he would stop using my first name, and I would be Potter again.

"You need help and I've seen you naked. Too late to be a prude." 

Sirius and I worked quickly and efficiently in the dark room. Sirius gave him a potion and soon Severus was asleep. We walked back to the sitting room.

"This hasn't been the first time, has it?" I stared at Sirius, daring him to lie to me.

He sighed. "No, but it's not always like this. It depends on Voldemort's mood."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I felt betrayed and guilty. "If it weren't for my blood, Voldemort would still be dead. I deserve to know."

"Severus didn't want to tell you," Sirius replied calmly. "He thinks that - and I quote - 'it's none of his bloody business'." Sirius hugged me. "He doesn't want you to feel guilty. It is not your fault."

"I'm not so sure, Sirius." I felt tears pricking at my eyes. "I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow."

I tried to avoid Severus the next day, but he cornered me. More precisely, he gave me an unjustified detention, making certain that he and I would not be disturbed.

When I arrived for my detention, I was greeted with a "Potter, sit down." I stared at him. "What do I have to do?" I asked angrily.

Severus smirked. "I believe I just told you to sit down. Not even a Gryffindor should have difficulty with such a simple order."

"Why do you do that? Making fun of Gryffindor? I know you like Sirius." And me, I mentally added.

"The fact that I love Sirius does not mean that I don't truly despise some of the so-called virtues of your House. Your bravery is often foolishness. Your honour transform itself into self-pity." Severus stood in front of me. Another student would have peed in his pants, but I was getting too used to his intimidatory techniques. "Harry, I want you to forget what you saw last night."

My head snapped back. I bet my eyes were as wide as saucers. "I can't. You must see that it's..."

"It's what? Your fault? As much as I appreciate your sentiments, they are truly out of place. I chose to be a spy. You just provided me with a thirteen year long respite, and I thank you for that."

"That's not what you said when I started living with you." I challenged him.

He closed his eyes. "I remember what I said. Please understand that I had just gotten my husband back, and there you were, intruding on our time together. Then, Sirius got upset and I hated you for disturbing our peace."

"But you're right. Whether I want or not, I cause problems." I stood up. I felt all my muscles tense. I wanted to hurt him, hurt myself, kick a wall, anything to release all that I was feeling inside.

He grabbed me by my shoulder. "You are not trouble. You are a growing boy who is quite successfully dealing with something a lot bigger than any person should face. Promise me that you won't interfere with what I do. It could do more harm than good."

"I promise." I did keep that promise, but it didn't stop my guilty feelings or my worries. They only magnified when Severus was summoned at the beginning of the summer.

"I'll probably be gone a few days. Don't worry about me," were his parting words. He kissed Sirius and patted my back before apparating away.

We didn't worry at first, but when after a week he wasn't back, we contacted Dumbledore. The headmaster had no news either. Sirius became more reserved with each passing day. I felt like I was back at the Dursleys, trying to become invisible not to get him upset.

One night, about three weeks later, I woke up with a bloody headache and a throbbing scar. It took me a moment to realise what I had seen. When I did, I ran all the way to Sirius's room.

"He was under the Cruciatus." I said rather loudly as I walked in.

Sirius rubbed his eyes with his fist. "What is it, Harry?"

"I saw Severus. He was in pain, Cruciatus, but he was alive." I jumped on the bed and hugged Sirius. "He's alive." We were both crying by then. Sirius held me tight, his tears wetting my pyjama top. 

"Thank you, thank you, thank you." I'm not sure if he was thanking me for telling him, thanking God for letting Severus be alive, or a combination of both, but it didn't matter.

We feel asleep like that. It became the first of many nights. Sirius and I kept each other's nightmares at bay. The visions, as painful as they were, were a reassurance that Severus was still alive. 

Severus's absence was compounded by the news that Hagrid had been killed during a Death Eater attack. The funeral was a sad event. Only the faculty and a few students were there. Both Hermione and Ron were there.

The sadness of our lives impacted both Sirius and me. We seemed to combat it by spending as much time together as possible. I didn't even pretend to go to my bedroom, anymore; I simply moved into their bedroom.

That's how Severus found us, one night, in late August. When he entered the bedroom, he triggered the new wards that Sirius had put up. We woke up with a start and the three of us just stared at each other.

Severus broke the silence first. "Maybe, I should leave you two alone," he hissed.

Sirius and I started to laugh. We both ran toward him and that's how he found himself with a Gryffindor in each arm. Sirius was crying and laughing at the same time, kissing Severus, and generally babbling.

"It's all right, Sirius. I'm home." Severus kept running his fingers through Sirius's hair, while keeping his other arm around my waist. "Maybe we should get some sleep. Tomorrow, I'll get in touch with the headmaster."

"I'll go." I kissed him lightly. "It's good to have you back home."

"It's good to be home, Harry. Goodnight." He smiled at me for the first time. His smiles had always been reserved for Sirius. I grinned and left happily.

I thought that things between Sirius and Severus would go back to normal, but I was wrong. I couldn't really point to anything specific, but I could feel the tension between them. I began to avoid the both of them, and was really happy when it was time to return to Hogwarts.

Our habit of spending the evenings in Severus's chambers quickly changed. When I wasn't with my friends, I would join Sirius in Remus's room. Remus was now living at Hogwarts and teaching Care of Magical Creature. 

"I don't mind you moving in with me, but I thought you had a lover," Remus joked one night.

I paled, and Sirius looked like he had been punched. "I wouldn't be so sure," he finally said.

Remus stopped and raised an eyebrow. "What are you on about?"

"I don't think he wants to be with me. He told me he needs his privacy and can't explain a Gryffindor in his room, so would I kindly stop going to see him at night," Sirius said angrily.

"Maybe, there is a reason," Remus suggested gently.

"Oh, there is. He needs to provide guidance to his Slytherins. That's his explanation. However, it doesn't explain why he hasn't touched me since he came back." Sirius was sitting, arms wrapped around his body. "He just doesn't love me anymore."

Remus laughed. I wanted to hex him for making light of Sirius's concerns. "What? Don't look at me like that," he told us.

"Look," he said more calmly. "Let's think for a moment. Your marriage was never registered. I understand that you only need a witness to make it valid, but until it is registered no one knows. However, he has been faithful to you and your unregistered marriage for twelve years."

"How would you know? Did you cast an impotency spell on him?" Sirius retorted.

"I didn't mean that he was physically faithful. I don't know if he was and I wouldn't blame him if he hasn't been, but he was never in a relationship. He remained loyal to you, even though everyone, including your best friend, thought that you were capable of betrayal and murder."

"He must have changed his mind," Sirius murmured.

"Have you asked him what happened this summer?" I was surprised by Remus's change of subject. At age sixteen, relationships were simply too difficult to understand, especially one as complicated as Sirius and Severus's. However, Sirius must have understood.

"I tried. He won't tell me anything." Sirius sighed. "I know I'm overreacting, but I need him, Moony. He has been my strength since I've come out of that place."

"Maybe, it's time that you try being the strong one, for once," Remus said coldly. "He needs someone, too."

"That's easier said than done. He won't let me. He has erected these walls and won't let me in."

"Don't think like a Gryffindor," Remus suggested. "If you can't break through, find a way around. He is spending his time providing guidance to the Slytherins. Why don't you help? The worse that can happen is that a few students die from the shock of Professor Black being nice to them."

Thus started a two-person campaign to be friendly to the Slytherins. Sirius convinced me to help him. It wasn't too difficult since I would do anything for him and Severus. The effects were also extremely funny.

"That's correct, Mr. Malfoy. Two points to Slytherin," Sirius said casually during our double DADA class.

"But..." Malfoy blinked, unsure of what to say.

"Is there a problem, Mr. Malfoy?" Sirius asked with concern.

"You _do_ know who I am, do you not?" Draco was really confused and I couldn't blame him. Sirius never gave points to the Slytherins, just like Severus never gave points to the Gryffindors.

"You are the one who gave me the correct answer. Now, moving along..."

I don't think anyone heard a word after that, me included. I was too busy looking at the Slytherins. They were at their wits' end, trying to understand what had just happened.

The rumours of those points reached gigantic proportions. They were fuelled by Sirius awarding more points to Slytherin during other classes. When the school thought that the world had stopped turning, I decided to join in the fun.

Right after DADA class, Malfoy bumped into me. It was obviously no one's fault, not that it had ever stopped either of us from insulting the other. Instead, I collected both my books and his from the floor.

"What are you doing, Potter? Trying to steal my books," Malfoy drawled out in that bored, but totally in command voice of his.

"I was picking them up since it's my fault that they fell," I answered with as much honesty I could muster, and being a Gryffindor, I can do it really well.

Malfoy gaped. "What's gotten into you, Potter?" he finally croaked out.

I handed the books politely. "Look, once we get out of school, we'll have plenty of reasons for hurting each other, but I hoped that while we are at Hogwarts we can be civil to each other."

"And why would I do that?" He eyed me with suspicion. Having learned with Severus the way Slytherins think, I'm sure he was trying to understand what I would gain from this truce.

"Because for two years, we can forget that there are Death Eaters, marks, people dying, and whatever else exists out there."

He stared at me and finally nodded. "I can be civil. I _am_ a pureblood."

I smiled and extended my hand. Draco waited a moment before shaking it.

It didn't take long for the news to travel around Hogwarts because less than three hours later, Severus burst into Sirius's room. "What did you think you and your godson were doing?"

I knew that Severus would ask me to leave, but I didn't want to. I cared for them both and I wanted to help if I could. For that reason, I moved into a corner, trying to become invisible. 

"I'm trying to be nice to the Slytherins," Sirius replied innocently.

Severus stood, eyes mere slits in his face, brows furrowed, and arms crossed in front of him. "Why?" 

"You obviously think they need help. While I don't know what happened, I thought that I could support you this way." Sirius was, is and always will be, a great actor. I couldn't believe how sincere he sounded and I knew full well that those were Remus's words and not his.

Severus was dismayed. "I...Thank you."

"Would you kindly tell me why I'm being nice to them?" Sirius continued in his sweet tone.

"Lucius presented Draco to be marked. I convinced Voldemort that he shouldn't mark the children while they are in school. They would draw too much attention. I know it's not enough, but it was the best I could do." He sighed and sat down. He looked tired.

I moved closer to him and locked a strand of hair behind his ear. "Do you think they'll understand what you're trying to do?" I couldn't help but ask. 

"What are you doing here?" He waived a hand before I could answer. "To answer your question, I don't know. They have been brainwashed since birth."

"You know you should have asked for our help. We love you and want to help." I pouted and asked, "Don't you love us anymore?"

"It is difficult to stop loving you when I've never loved you," he answered me with a smirk.

"Do you love me?" Sirius's tone had none of my playfulness. 

"Of course, I do." Severus scowled. "Why would you even ask?"

"You've avoided me like the plague since you've come back. A man does start to wonder." Sirius stayed on his feet, jaw set. He looked like he was bracing himself for an attack.

"Things happened," Severus answered curtly.

"And you can't share them with me because I'm what? Unreliable? A Gryffindor? Please explain to me why you need to keep them from me."

I didn't know the meaning of drama queen at that time. If I had, I think I would have screamed it at Sirius. He was standing there, drying an imaginary tear, lip quivering. The man is good. 

"I didn't think you were interested." Severus used all of his skills to sound honest and he would have succeeded with someone other than Sirius. "All right, I didn't want you to know."

Sirius looked at me. "Harry, could you leave us alone?"

Severus grabbed my arm. "Stay. You might as well learn the truth from me." He took a deep breath. "I did things this summer."

I didn't like the seriousness that had descended upon the room. Joking, I asked, "Like what? Provide fashion tips to Voldemort?"

"Like killing people. Muggle, wizards, it mattered little. He ordered and I killed." His calm was horrifying, especially because I could feel his guilt.

Sirius finally approached Severus and caressed his face. "You did what you had to do." 

Severus got up. "That's what Albus said, but it's not true, is it? I could have chosen to die, but I didn't. I chose to kill innocent people who had done nothing to me."

"Albus told me that you were able to prevent a few attacks," Sirius confessed in a whisper. "He wouldn't give me the specific."

"And what does that mean? Should I make a list? Saved 14 on July 20th, killed 4 on August 3rd. Add the pluses and the minus and pray that in the end, there are more in the plus side," Severus said irritated. "I killed innocent people."

"I killed professor Quirrell and Cedric," I said quietly.

Severus kneeled in front of me. "You did not kill anyone. Voldemort did that."

"And he made you kill those people. You had no choice, because death is not an option, not when you can do so much good. You made sure that others weren't killed, you prevented Malfoy from getting the mark, you protect me," I said passionately.

"Do you think the parents, children, lovers of the ones I killed would care?" he asked me.

"We all must make sacrifices. Isn't that what you always tell me? Those people have made their sacrifice for everyone's survival."

"I wish I could have your Gryffindor certainty. Albus said the same things." He sat again, looking defeated.

Sirius had been looking at Severus for a while, then he said, "And why didn't you tell me before? Did you think that I wouldn't understand? That I would blame you?"

Severus shook his head. "No, that wasn't the reason. I didn't want you to be touched by all this."

Sirius laughed sadly. "Do you really think that I'm such a pure soul? What do you think I did when I left on missions with James and Lily? When I came back without being able to look at myself in the mirror? I've killed, too, Severus. I know how it feels."

"It's different. You were doing your job," Severus replied.

Sirius moved until he was on Severus's lap. Neither moved for a moment. Then, slowly, Severus closed his arms around Sirius's waist.

"We're fighting this together, Severus. Don't let it separate us again." Sirius's eyes were shining.

I decided that it was time to leave. I heard Severus say, "I'm sorry, Sirius. I never want to lose you." I closed the door and warded it so that no one could interrupt them.

* * *

The rest of my sixth year went on without major tragedies. The attacks by the Death Eaters were becoming more frequent, but Hogwarts was still an oasis of peace in a world of violence.

The Ministry did not acknowledge that Voldemort had returned. Instead, it blamed the attacks on a few, disgruntled wizards. However, newspapers and the wire constantly compared the current climate with the late 70s.

We had expected the Slytherins to boast about the new rise and the destruction of Mudbloods. Instead, they became subdued. I think the joint efforts by Sirius and Severus made an impact. 

Before I went home, I remember talking to Malfoy. He stopped me while I was on my way to Sirius's room.

"Potter?"

I turned around and stared at him with surprise.

"Be safe. I want to have a chance to finally beat you."

I smiled at his words. "Don't worry, Malfoy. I'll show you that you can't ever beat me at Quidditch."

"I guess I'll prove you otherwise, next year," he said challengingly, but he was smiling as well.

* * *

The summer was emotionally taxing. Severus was summoned two days after we arrived home. We tried to prepare ourselves for a long disappearance, but it was still difficult.

Sirius started the day by searching the paper to see if Severus's name appeared anywhere. Daily conferences with Dumbledore were held. When I got no visions after a few weeks, Sirius decided to use his animagus form to search for Severus.

So here, I was, turning seventeen, not a man, but not a child, sitting at home, worrying about the two men I loved above all others. They were my family, my teachers, and my everything.

I couldn't really do much. I was not allowed outside the limits of Snape mansion, except to go to Remus's, and the Burrow, if I was lucky. I spent my time, reading and studying. I think I did all my summer assignments before my birthday.

In the evenings, when Sirius would return, we would have a quiet dinner together, and I would slip into his bed, needing to feel some human contact. 

I remember one night. He had woken up screaming. Once he calmed down, he looked at me. "Fuck, I hate this."

"He's going to be home soon. He won't die, he knows how much we love him," I assured him. It wasn't a lie; I was convinced that our love for him would keep him going.

Severus proved me right a week later. He showed up in the middle of the afternoon with a wrapped box in his hand. "Sorry, I missed your birthday." He sounded like he was apologizing for being a few minutes late, as if he hadn't been missing for forty days.

I dropped the book I was reading and ran to hug him. "You're home. That's the best gift. Thank you, Severus." It was the first time that I used his first name. In school, he was professor and at home, he was 'he', no names used.

He must have realised it as well, because he looked at me and said, "Severus? I like that. Just make sure not to use it in school." Then, he looked around. "Where is Sirius?"

"He went out, but he should be back soon." Which was true, I just didn't want to tell him what Sirius was doing. No sense in worrying him. "You can help me prepare dinner, unless you're tired."

"Why don't you open your gift, instead? And tonight, we'll just go out for dinner. I'm sure we can find a Muggle restaurant, somewhere safe."

I grinned. I tore the paper and just opened the box to find... "An English-Spanish dictionary?"

He laughed. "I'd hoped that we could go to Madrid for some paella. You can use it for a reference." Then he leaned against a wall. "Of course, while we're there we could pick up the new Rapidez broomstick you wanted."

He was lucky that he was leaning against the wall or he would have fallen at the impact. "I love you, Severus."

He snorted. "Boys and broomsticks, that's too cliche even to make a joke."

That's when Sirius returned. They simply stared at each other, not saying a word. Severus extended his arm, hand near Sirius's face. Sirius closed his eyes and rubbed his check against his lover's hand. Suddenly, Severus pulled him closer and they stayed like that, their bodies touching, eyes closed. I left them, and went to get ready.

When I returned to the sitting room, they weren't there. They returned freshly showered and with clean clothes. If that weren't clue enough, Sirius's huge grin left no doubt about their activities.

"Ready to go?" Severus asked from behind Sirius.

"Yes." I jumped up all excited. "We have a broomstick to buy."

"Oh, I'm happy with what I have," Sirius purred.

I shook my head. "Stop that, or you'll be arrested for lewd acts in public."

Sirius smiled and pressed his arse against Severus. "Hey, I'm happy to have my husband back."

Severus ignored our banter, but I could see that he was trying to suppress a smile. We left for Madrid. He bought me the broomstick I wanted, and then we went to dinner. It was this little restaurant. I was suspicious about the food, but it was delicious.

"I love this," I said, pushing more rice in my mouth. 

"You could slow down and savour the paella," Severus suggested. God, he was smiling again. That was strange.

Sirius must have noticed the same thing. "You're awfully happy..."

Severus smirked. "I might have found a way to destroy Voldemort. It still needs some research, but Albus is confident that we can do it."

We looked at him gobsmacked. Sirius tried to say something, but he was gaping like a fish. He drank some water before saying, "You found a way to destroy the most powerful Dark wizard and this is your reaction?"

"What would you have me do?" Severus asked amused.

Sirius thought about it. "I'd be rat-arsed, licking ale from the floor. Hell, I'm sure Moony would be lying right next to me."

"I have no doubt," Severus answered indulgently. "However, we haven't killed him, yet. I promise to join you under the table once he is dead."

Sirius leaned over and kissed Severus. "I'll look forward to it."

"Can I ask you something?" They turned to look at me.

"You can and you may; we might not answer," Severus answered.

"How did you get together? Remus said that you were always fighting in school and no one knew about the two of you." I had never asked, but I wanted to know more. I needed to find out how two people so different could end up with each other.

Sirius smiled. "It's actually your mother's fault. I lost a bet with her, and as payment I was supposed to be nice to Severus for a month." He got more excited while talking. "You have to understand that for six years we only insulted each other. We had never shared a civil word. Then one day I show up in class and just greeted Severus. I think I unnerved him."

Severus snorted. "Unnerved isn't the word. I was terrified. I was already trying to find out what he was planning to do. I kept insulting him during the entire class. He got beet red because of his anger, but never answered back. He even took the blame for me, earning a detention."

I laughed. I could picture them and their reaction. It wasn't too difficult since I had seen the same suspicion and anger on Draco's face the first time I was nice to him.

"This went on for a few days before I cornered him," Severus continued. "I managed to find him without his friends. I pushed him against a wall and asked him what he was planning. He told me about the bet."

"Are you insane?" I asked Sirius. "Do you know the kind of power you gave him?"

Severus sighed contentedly. "The boy does have some Slytherin traits. I'm proud of you, Harry."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Hey, it got us together. Severus didn't believe me so he said 'I could touch you and you wouldn't punch me'. Of course, I never thought he would willingly touch me, so I winked at him and said, 'why don't you try and find out?' Severus blanched."

"Of course, I did. I didn't really want to touch him, but if I hadn't, it would look like I was afraid. So I did the only think I could do." I looked at Severus, but he didn't say anything more.

"What? What did you do?" I finally asked.

"He put his hand on my crotch," Sirius said playfully.

"If I remember correctly, you weren't smiling back then. You were flushed and the only thing you managed to say was 'oh'."

"Then Severus moved closer and said 'what would you do if I kissed you?' I answered 'I'll have to kiss you back. Wouldn't want to be rude?' Then, he kissed me." Sirius winked at Severus.

"We spent the rest of the month seeing how accommodating Sirius would be." Severus smirked. "Of course, once the month was up, the fighting started again, at least in public."

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" I asked curiously.

"By the time we knew how serious we were about our relationship, Dumbledore asked me to join Voldemort to spy for him." Severus ran a hand through his hair. "I knew my father would have wanted to join him and I wanted to protect my crazy boyfriend who wanted to be an Auror, so I said 'yes'."

"That's the most idiot thing you've done, Love." Sirius looked at his lover and sighed. "You should have never agreed, especially if you did it to protect me."

Severus caressed Sirius's face and they just stared at each other.

I smiled. Their love was like a bright light. "I'm done," I said. "We can go if you want."

Without breaking eye contact with Sirius, Severus said, "Yes, it's time to go home."

They walked together, Sirius resting his head on Severus's shoulder, until we could apparate safely. The moment we reached home, Severus pushed Sirius against a wall and they began to kiss.

I could only stare as hungry mouths attacked each other. Tongues danced around each other. Sirius untucked Severus's shirt, his hands reaching beneath the shirt to touch warm skin. I moaned.

Hands still buried in Sirius's hair, Severus turned his head to face me. "Why are you still here?"

I rolled my eyes. "Sorry, didn't know you couldn't wait until you made it to your bedroom. I'm going. Have a good night." I walked away, but my heart stayed behind.

Things didn't get better. I decided that I didn't like girls. When I returned to school, I dated boys exclusively, but I never had felt comfortable enough to have intercourse with any of them.

I guess the fear of being just a conquest coupled with my distrust of people weren't inductive for intimacy. In the end, I still spent my nights with Sirius and Severus. We didn't do anything special. We talked, we discussed books, we fought. 

"We're family," Sirius would say. But to me, they were so much more. I never found the courage to tell them until ...

Severus let me in with a frown. "You know you need rest. Voldemort will attack in a few hours."

"I know." I looked up from the floor and stared at him. "This is important. Please."

"Hi, Harry." Sirius greeted me from the couch. He was half naked and I knew that I had interrupted them, but I couldn't care at the moment. "Is something the matter?"

"I..." I sat next to him and hid my face against Sirius's chest. 

He patted my back and kissed my head. "It's all right to be scared."

I raised my head and scowled. "I'm not. He will either kill me or I'll kill him."

"Then, what has you running here in the middle of the night?" Severus inquired.

I turned to face him. "I want to make love to you," I said with a bravery I wasn't really feeling, but I figured that he wouldn't kill me right before I had to face Voldemort.

"Excuse me?" Severus was shocked. I'd never seen him so surprised.

I got up and stood in front of him. "I want to have sex with you. I'm still a virgin and I've been waiting for the right person and time. You are the right person, and I can't afford to wait."

Severus laughed. He really laughed in my face. "You know for a moment I thought you were serious."

"I wish," I muttered. When he didn't get the little word game, I explained. "I do want you."

He sobered up. "Have you forgotten that I'm married? To your godfather? The man who is sitting a few metres from you and has found the strength not to kill you yet?"

"Oh, I want him too." Merlin, I was so stupid back then. It's still a wonder that I wasn't killed that night.

Severus threw his hands up in the air. "Of course, how could I not know that?"

"Harry..." Sirius started calmly. "You're just confused."

"Oh for God's sake, Sirius, I'm not confused. I've been spying on you since I was fourteen. I've wanted this so badly." He shook his head, but I didn't let him speak. "When we slept together, waiting for Severus, did you never notice how hard I was?"

"That's a normal reaction," Sirius said calmly.

"Normal?" I exclaimed. "They weren't morning erection. I could have cut through stone considering how hard I was. It was your presence in bed."

Severus cut me off. "What exactly are you asking?"

"I want to have sex with you and Sirius. Before I face Voldemort, I want to know what it feels like to be with the men I love." My voice cracked by the end of my little speech. "Please, Severus. I want you to be my first."

He sighed and hugged me. I could almost hear the silent conversation they were having. When I felt Sirius pressed against my back, I knew I had won.

I never asked why they accepted. Maybe they thought I was going to die, or maybe they simply loved me so much that they would have refused me nothing. It really didn't matter as Severus led me to their bedroom.

They both undressed me before they shed their own clothes. We lay silently for a while. I was so overwhelmed that I could do nothing more than touch them, wanting to memorise their bodies with my fingers and eyes.

Sirius kissed me on the mouth and I sighed happily. "Tell us what you want, Harry. We only do what you want."

"I...I haven't thought so far."

Severus pinched his nose, but I could see a smile he was trying to suppress. "I think Sirius wants to know how far do you want to go."

"Oh, I want you to fuck me," I answered with certainty.

Severus smirked. "You seem to know fairly well what you want. What about Sirius?" 

I thought about it for a moment and then I said, "Could I fuck him while you do me?" I turned to face Sirius. "Would you let me?"

Sirius looked at Severus, who shrugged, letting him know that it was going to be his decision. "I...I don't know...I've been with no one else since Severus. I don't know if I can."

Severus quickly pushed me aside and took Sirius in his arms. "We don't have to do anything. We can call this insanity off. I'm sure Harry understands."

Silence fell on the room. I looked expectantly at Sirius, hoping against hope that he wouldn't change his mind, not when I was so close to my goal.

"You could..."

"Nonsense," Severus cut him off. "I will not cheat on you. As I said, _we_ don't have to do anything."

"I want us to do this for Harry." I disregarded the fact that it sounded like a death sentence and I lay on top of him and kissed him.

Sirius framed my face. He opened his mouth and let me in. He was warm and sweet and I could feel his love in his gentleness. I whimpered when he pulled away. "Severus, prepare him," he said as he drew circles on my back. 

The next moments were the slowest and the quickest of my life. I've replayed the scene in my head thousands of times. I can see each movement as a photogram of a Muggle movie. I can still feel Severus's fingers as he carefully relaxed my channel. I can sense Sirius's hand closing around our aligned cocks. I can taste Sirius and Severus's mouths. I can relive the moment that Severus entered me. I can see Sirius's face as he reached his orgasm and our semen mixed between our bodies. I savour the sensation of fullness as Severus came into my body.

All the memories in my head don't make up for how quickly those moments passed. I wanted to last forever. I wanted to become a part of what they were. I deluded myself that it would become true when they let me sleep in their bed. 

Unfortunately, morning came, and we got ready for Voldemort's attack. I was too happy to really worry about anything but destroying the bastard who had ruined our lives for so long.

During the fight, I concentrated on the Dark wizard. I never looked at what else was happening on the overcrowded Quidditch field. When I finally destroyed Voldemort, I realised that there were people everywhere, more wizards and witches flying in the sky. 

I soon understood the great number of casualty on both sides. I ran around, dodging curses as I looked for Severus and Sirius. I found Severus first. He was being taken inside on a stretcher. When he saw me standing next to him, he grabbed my robe.

"Sirius?"

My heart broke for him. I shook my head. "Don't know, Sev. I'm going to look for him and bring him to the Infirmary."

"Find him," he told me as they took him inside.

I found Sirius lying under a bench, in the Ravenclaw section. He was so still that I thought he was dead. I kneeled to his side and hugged him. He didn't open his eyes, but smiled. "Severus."

I started crying. He trusted his lover blindly. He didn't even think that I could be anyone but Severus. That's when I realised that they would never love me the way they love each other. 

I levitated Sirius and brought him to the Infirmary. I stood outside, looking at them. Regardless of his injuries, Severus got up and moved into Sirius's bed, holding him tight. People were shocked, but they had no reason to hide anymore.

I dried my tears and made my decision. They didn't need a child constantly shadowing them. That day I left England.

* * *

Years later, I tried flooing and was pleasantly surprised when the wards recognised my magical signature. I walked around, looking at the house. Everything seemed the same. I heard voices as I neared the sitting room. They were happy, jovial voices.

I walked in slowly, simply looking. It took a few moments before they saw me. Sirius got up from the floor and came to hug me. "You scared us. Where have you been for three years?"

I stood still for a moment. I could feel his tears on my neck. Finally, I closed my arms around him. "I'm sorry, Sirius. So very sorry."

When he stepped back, I saw Severus standing next to the armchair. I felt like a kid again, facing the mean Potions master. Then, he extended a hand and I found myself buried in his embrace. "I needed to find... I needed to go. I'm sorry."

He patted my hair just like he used to do. "Did you find what you were looking for?" His voice wasn't as steady as usual.

I raised my head and shook it. "I don't think I'll ever will."

He kissed my scar. "You will." Then he seemed to remember something. "You remember Draco, do you?"

I turned, wide-eyed. I couldn't believe that I made such an arse of myself in front of Malfoy. He almost saw me cry. "How can I forget the bane of my existence?"

Draco smiled. "I thought that was Voldemort, but since he's dead and I'm alive, you might be correct."

"Are we preparing your room?" Sirius said in a not too subtle way.

I looked at Severus and he nodded. "As long as you don't go spying," he said with a smile.

I grinned. "No spying. Promise."

* * *

His fingers move lightly over my face, tracing my jaw, brushing my lips. "What are you thinking about?"

"The past." I turn and look at my lover. "I never thought I would find the love that Sirius and Severus share."

"Did you? Find it, I mean?"

I pull him down and I kiss him. He relaxes next to me. "Yes, I have. I love you, Draco."

"I love you, too, Harry."


End file.
